I’ll go back to being better and cheerier later. I always bounce back to my optimistic nature, but I’m in mourning for my Anakin Skywalker. He was a sweetheart, and always greeted me at the door, expected to be petted, and came over when called. Some friends believed my cat thought he was a dog in that he demanded attention and meowed and purred when you came in the door. To write, he was often curled up next to me, demanding when I finish the chapter, he’d get attention.

Anyhow I knew something was wrong. I took him to the vet. The vet said his kidney’s shut down and over 85%. He was fine last week. I had him at the vet 3 months ago and his blood work was normal. Wednesday he stopped eating. Thursday he could hardly walk and Friday he died. The vet talked scientific terms about phosophorous levels, but told me to prepare for death. Friday I made the decision to end his misery, but he never made it to the vet’s table for the end. He died in my mother’s arms, while being petted. I was glad it was mom and not me. I couldn’t have handled that. My cat was the best. He died of old age, but this weekend, I’m looking around my place, still expecting to see him sunning himself or taking a nap in his usual spots.

I found him at the shelter, and when it’s time I’ll go back and adopt another animal there. Rescue animals are the best.

Anyhow I’m revising something I’m working on today, and hopefully when done, I will write more. The revisions will make it better though. For this contemporary romance piece, I’ll dedicate it to my Anakin. Does this make me look like crazy cat lady? I hope not. I never spoke about him, but now that he’s gone… I’m still sad.

In writing though I can focus on a fantasy world where happy endings are plentiful. I don’t read literature aka death and rape books, where the world is dark and gloomy. Sounds sad and unnecessarily depressing and not real life either. I am wanting to read later to escape. Definitely want a contemporary romance with no animals today, and I want to read a big house, big name author. I love indies, but today is all about those who have made it big to help me escape. Any recommendations?