Pick Your Battles – Advice for First Time Mom Series


How important is it?

There are many perils to being a first-time mom. Upon reflection, it seems like I made some tasks more difficult than necessary.

One piece of advice given to me was “Pick Your Battles.” Ask yourself if you’re saying no because it’s something that will hurt the child, or are you saying no because you’re really, really tired of hearing “Wheels on the Bus” or you can’t bear for them to line up the entire LEGO set across the living room floor again.

Sometimes I wonder how important it was to insist upon activities that my daughters – who are now 9 & 13 – didn’t want to take part in. Now, you must be thinking – activities, she must mean playing tennis or taking dance classes, right? Sure, those are activities NOW. I mean then, when they were little or toddlers.

The top fight when my oldest daughter turned about 18 months was putting on pajamas. She refused. She’d cry and kick and fight every limb going in. As an infant, you get to dress them pretty much without a fuss. When they start getting a little bigger, watch out!

At one point, I even remember trying to pry on clothes with the help of one of my best friends, Jenn. It’d be like, “I got this arm, do you got that leg?” Once it was done, and you let them free … odds are they’d strip them off in under 10 minutes. But by golly, we got them on!

Why was it so important? If it was winter-time, we keep the heater on a comfortable temperature. It’s not like anyone’s going to think I’m a neglectful parent, are they? Will a neighbor walk by and see through the closed drapes that – gasp – I failed to put my daughter in pajamas?

The time and effort and the crying wasn’t worth it. Now, we can laugh, over a glass of wine, and shake our heads. In that moment, the world felt like it was going to end, and I would be a failure, if those cute onesies weren’t on her body!

So if possible, take a few moments to relax and breath. If you’re lucky enough to be parenting with a partner, and you’re able to, walk away … and realize that most of the time, it will totally be all right.

Love and light,

Louisa Bacio



A Southern California native, Louisa Bacio can’t imagine living far away from the ocean. The multi-published author of erotic romance enjoys writing within all realms – from short stories to full-length novels.

Bacio shares her household with a supportive husband, two daughters growing “too fast,” and a multitude pet craziness: Two dogs, five fish tanks, an aviary, hamsters, rabbits, guinea pigs and hermit crabs. In her other life, she teaches college classes in English, journalism and popular culture.

For more information, visit www.louisabacio.blogspot.com