“Nothing prepares you.” then insert “personal story.”
This is the most common advice I’ve heard to date. While it’s absolutely true that I cannot prepare for any and all things, I’m over 35.
At 18, I would not have been a good mother. I hadn’t lived and was very selfish. I clearly had a high opinion of myself. I wanted to see the world and not be stuck in one place. I wanted college. I wanted to support myself. And I did all these things.
I’m super happy I waited. And yes part of me is still me. I absolutely understand my life will change. Part of me is terrified that I now have this huge responsibility coming my way. I can’t simply say ‘I’m off to go do this.’ It’s not about me anymore.
Another part of my soul is excited. I’m now entrusted with a life inside me who will soon make their appearance in the world. It’s already obvious to strangers I’m pregnant. First time moms are supposed to change slower than I did, but clearly my mom’s warning to me was right. She said I had birthing hips. She said one day I’d have her hips.
The day is arriving.
Luckily I also know that mom gave birth to all four of the Pinder siblings naturally and without drama. I’m hoping I can be like her. I expect that day around August will be painful, but not out of this world. I’ll be fine. If the doctors tell me to do something, I’ll listen unless something gives me pause. The gut instinct of mine has never led me wrong.
So emotionally I’m preparing way more than I am physically. I honestly don’t have anything for this baby yet other than a list of things to get. It feels wrong to start buying too early.
So hugs. Soon I’ll be introducing some of my author friends who offered to give me advice on this blog. I’m excited to read and learn and share with everyone. I hope you are too.