This was part of life I always wanted in the abstract. In the concrete view of the world, my life has been pretty great. I’ve traveled. I’ve seen things only listed in history books. I’ve moved and lived in different parts of the United States. (Life here is pretty varied.)

A few years back, I was certain I was never getting married. I was happily living the single life. Sure, I wished for a great husband, but I settled alone was preferable to the wrong guy.

Then I decided fast when I met my now husband. (It’s a family tradition in some ways. Once you decide, you go for it, but you go in knowing you only get one shot— catholic school upbringing. Choose wisely.)

Last year at this time my new husband was getting over hospitals and being sick. We were not thinking about babies.

So when I first found out I was pregnant, I was pretty numb in my reactions on the outside. On the inside I was already ‘no, I’m not doing anything to put my baby in any danger.

Now that it’s the second trimester and the clock is ticking to ‘halfway to touchdown,’ I’m seriously reviewing the registry and deciding when I need to purchase items. What exactly is a need versus a want? What exactly do I want? I bought 5 different books on giving birth itself. I want to go natural for this. (So many people will warn me about pain. This doesn’t bother me. My mom gave birth natural. My grandma gave birth natural.) I am going to listen to my doctors advice of course, but I want to encourage positive thoughts towards natural, if I can.

Then there are the material things once the baby arrives. Right now the house is designed for two adults. We have nothing for a baby here. I already spoke about the trip to the store. Once the shock is over, it’s now time to start getting real. Needs versus wants. What is it that I need to ensure that the infant is safe once I bring him/her home? The question invades me at all times and takes over my thoughts as I search the internet.